Tom Macdonald – I Don’t Drink Lyrics

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[Verse 1]
I screwed up, I just wanna say I’m sorry
It’s all my fault, you should probably ignore me
Oh my God, should’ve given you a warning
All my friends are sick and tired of this story
I don’t drink ’cause when I’m drunk I’m annoying
Call your phone when it’s three in the morning
Start a fight, parked a whip in your garden
You prolly think I am mentally retarded

[Verse 2]
Please don’t call me crazy ’cause I’m not
Last night I had one too many shots
Blacked out, got arrested by the cops
Woke up on the neighbors front lawn
Every time that I’m hangover I convince myself I’m dying
Where the hell my pants go and why is my girlfriend crying
I say that I remember what I did but I am lying
There’s a tattoo on my buttcheek, it’s a beer can and he’s smiling

[Chorus]
I’m pretty sure the last night went down in history
We made it out alive and that’s a victory
Black eyes, minor injuries
We lost a fight together that’s a win to me
I don’t drink ’cause when I’m drunk I’m retarded
Ask around, I’m the life of the party
Hold my beer, ’cause I’m only getting started
Who cares about tomorrow and the misery

[Verse 3]
I’m a mess and I know you don’t deserve it
You’re the best and I’m a pretty stupid person
None-the-less you try to help me ’cause I’m hurting
I confess, sometimes I feel like I’m not worth it
I don’t drink, ’cause when I drunk I’m a problem
I don’t care who I hurt, I feel awesome

Holy crap, it’s either jail or a coffin
Soon enough, I’ma be at rock bottom
Please help, tell me, how I end up here?
Last night, I had one too many beers
Flashbacks, but I can’t remember clear
Why I texted all my ex-es and we haven’t spoke in years

[Pre-Chorus]
Every time that I’m hangover, last night doesn’t feel so funny
I threw up on my front step and I wasted all of my money
I got naked in the night club right in front of all my buddies
Then I went home with some girl I thought was hot, but she is ugly

[Chorus]
I’m pretty sure the last night went down in history
We made it out alive and that’s a victory
Black eyes, minor injuries
We lost a fight together that’s a win to me
I don’t drink ’cause when I’m drunk I’m retarded
Ask around, I’m the life of the party
Hold my beer, ’cause I’m only getting started
Who cares about tomorrow and the misery

[Bridge]
You call my phone, ‘kay be quiet, can you hear it?
I don’t hear it
Damn, oh no, my sexy photos can we clear it?
We need to clear it

[Chorus]
I’m pretty sure the last night went down in history
We made it out alive and that’s a victory
Black eyes, minor injuries
We lost a fight together that’s a win to me
I don’t drink ’cause when I’m drunk I’m retarded
Ask around, I’m the life of the party
Hold my beer, ’cause I’m only getting started
Who cares about tomorrow and the misery